Heathers
by Lucy Marigold
Summary: My teenage angst has a body count thanks to a demon who wants to blow up the school. Being seventeen couldn't have been worse for Dipper Pines until he joins the most popular group in high school, The Heathers. And then he accidentally killed Heather. (Heathers: The Musical crossover with Gravity Falls.)


**Chapter 1 - Welcome To The Thunderdome.**

The young man pushed his way through a crowd, avoiding people as he glanced down at the rugged old book. He scrawled words in it with a blue pen, biting it before bumping into someone. He apologized, looking up sheepishly. "September 1st, 1989. Dear Diary. I believe that I'm a good person. I believe that there's good in everyone. But here we are, first day of senior year. I look at these kids that I've known all my life and wonder; what happened?" He sang to himself. The echos of horrid words vibrating around him as he wandered through the hallways, clutching his books closely. "We were so tiny, happy and shiny, playing tag and getting chased." More insults echoed down the hallway as he entered the cafeteria. "Singing and clapping, laughing and napping, baking cookies, eating paste.'"Dipper Pines turned as another student shouted and argued with another student. "Then we got bigger. That was the trigger. Like the Huns invading Rome." His track of thought was cut off when a student slammed into him.

"Move it!" They shouted, bursting past.

"S-Sorry!" Dipper stuttered out despite it not being his fault. He picked himself up."'Welcome to my school, this ain't no high school: This is the Thunderdome. Hold your breath and count the days, we're graduating soon." One word was screamed into Dipper's ears as he flinched away. "College will be paradise if I'm not dead by June! But I know, I know, life can be beautiful. I pray, I pray for a better way. If we changed back then, we could change again. We can be beautiful.." A young boy with glasses was shoved in Dipper's direction.

"Ow!" He shouted, collapsing into Dipper, the young teen's hat falling off. '_Just not today.'_

"Hey, are you okay?" Dipper held out a hand to help him up but the boy slapped his hand away.

"Get away, nerd!" He snapped, getting up himself before storming off. Student's voices echoed around him as someone nearby was called something again. Dipper walked to the cafeteria line, picking up a tray and standing in line as he gripped the blue plastic tray.

"Things will get better soon as my letter comes from Harvard, Duke or Brown. WAke from this coma, take my diploma, then I can blow this town. Dream of my ivy-covered wall and smoky French cafes…" Dipper sang under his breath as he accidentally bumped into another student, although he doesn't realise it. "Fight the urge to strike a match and send this dump ablaze!"

The student he bumped into turned around and slammed his lunch tray to the ground while exclaiming a loud, "Ooooops."

"Gideon Gleeful. Third year as linebacker. And eighth year of smacking lunch trays and BEING A HUGE DICK." Dipper said louder than intended. The white-haired teenager leaned closer, raising a fist.

"What did you say to me skank?" Gideon snarled, cracking his knuckles.

"... Nothing." Dipper squeaked out, grabbing his lunch and heading off to a table in the corner. He placed his tray down, placing his journal beside it before sitting down and continuing sing to himself. "But I know, I know, I know… Life can be beautiful. I pray, I pray, I pray for a better way. We were kind before; we can be kind once more. We can be beautiful…" He felt a jolt as someone sat beside him, grabbing him into a hug. "Agh!... Hey Mabel." He said with a smile.

"Hey!" The teenage girl said, a smile plastered across his face. 'Mabel Pines. My best friend since diapers.' He thought to himself. "We on for movie night?"

"Yeah, you're on Jiffy Pop detail." He glanced down at his journal, quickly scrawling something down before looking back up at her.

"I rented 'The Princess Bride'." Mabel cooed, looking as if she had stars in her eyes.

"Again? Don't you have it memorized by now?" He chuckled, leaning on the metal table as he ate his sandwich.

"What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending." She replied, moving her hands to pick up her sandwich but as she did a pair of hands flew forward, shoving her tray off the table.

"Mabel Dipshit! Haha!" A teenager boy shouted, laughing at his actions.

"Robbie Valentino. Quarterback. He is the smartest guy on the football team. Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf." He muttered to himself before speaking up. "Hey! Pick that up right now!" Dipper rose from his seat under he was face to face with the teenager.

"I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?" He looked confused and a bit pissed.

"Yes, I am. I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend. You're a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant." Dipper snapped.

"... You have a zit right there …" Robbie said as he flicked Dipper's forehead on his birthmark. Dipper's cheeks flushed in embarrassment as he covered up his birthmark. He sat back down, lowering his head as he wrote in his journal. "Dear diary' why…'"

"Why do they hate me?" A voice from across the room asked.

"Why don't I fight back?" Another began as everyone sang their questions.

"Why do I act like such a creep?" A teenage boy nearby groaned.

"Why won't he date me?" A blonde girl sang, more people joining in every second.

"Why did I hit him?" Another boy sang.

Why do I cry myself to sleep?" A pair of girls echoed each other.

"Why..." Dipper sang.

"Somebody hug me! Somebody fix me! Somebody save me!" Everyone began to sing as they looked at each other in desperation. "Send me a sign, God! Give me some hope here! Something to live for!" The doors burst open, Dipper turning his head towards it as the other kids around him sang.

"Ah!... Heather, Heather, and Heather!" They echoed.

"Then there's the Heathers. They float above it all." He spoke to himself, watching a pair of heals enter. The first was a blonde girl in a yellow outfit. "Heather Northwest. Head Cheerleader. Her dad's loaded - he sells engagement rings." Another girl was wearing green, her black hair flowed over her shoulders. "Heather Chu. Runs the yearbook. No discernible personality, but her mom did pay for implants and eye surgery." The last, a taller girl with red hair and freckles. She stood on red heels in her red outfit, towering above the other girls. "And Heather Corduroy. The Almighty." Dipper bit his lip as people's voice's resonated around him. "She is a mythic bitch. They are solid Teflon - never bothered, never harassed. I would give anything to be like that."

"I'd like to be their boyfriend." The teenager he had bumped into before said as people nodded.

"If I sat at their table, guys would notice me." A girl said to her friends, tugging on her hair.

"I'd like them to be nicer," Mabel whispered in Dipper's ear. Dipper laughed, patting Mabel on the shoulder before grabbing his journal off the table as the bell rang and people scattered. He headed towards the bathroom, pausing as he passed the open door to the girl's bathroom. He heard a vomiting noise, causing him to glance inside.

"Grow up, Heather. Bulimia is so '87." Heather Corduroy stated, applying lipstick.

"Maybe you should see a doctor, Heather." Heather Northwest said, hovering near a stall.

"Yeah, Heather. Maybe I should." Heather Chu spoke between vomiting. Dipper flicked back as Ms. Melody, one of the female teachers walked past and entered the bathroom.

"Ah, Heather and Heather." She spoke. The sound of vomiting splashing alerted her to the other girl in the bathroom. "And Heather. Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting. You're late for class."

"Heather wasn't feeling well. We're helping her." Heather Corduroy replied, pointing to her friend. Dipper pulled out a sheet of paper, rapidly scrawling across it.

"Not without a hall pass you're not. A week's detention." Ms. Melody stated, placing a hand on her hip before pulling out a slip of paper.

"Actually, Ms. Melody, all four of us are out on a hall pass. Yearbook committee." Dipper spoke up, standing in the doorway to the bathroom. He passed the note over, Ms. Melody looking over it for a moment.

"... I see you're all listed. Hurry up and get where you're going." She spoke, leaving the bathroom a moment later, not before giving Dipper to note back. The piece of paper was suddenly taken from his hand. He turned to see Heather Corduroy looking over the note.

"This is an excellent forgery. Who are you?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"D-Dipper Pines. I crave a boon." He choked out, pulling his journal close.

"What boon?" Heather said, coming closer.

"Let me sit at your table at lunch. Just once! No talking necessary. If people think you guys tolerate me, they'll leave me alone... " He spoke quietly, he saw that she was about to say something. "Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips and absence notes."

"How about prescriptions?" Chu asked, peering forward.

"Shut up Heather."

"Sorry, Heather." She responded, flicking back.

"For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure." Heather C said, flicking Dipper's face back and forth.

"And a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the centre of your skull, I'd have matching halves. That's very important." Northwest moved forward, drawing a line through the centre of Dipper's face to accent her point.

"Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds" The other Heather piked in.

And ya know, ya know, ya know? This could be beautiful. Mascara, maybe some lip gloss and we're on our way. Get this boy some blush; And Heather, I need your brush. Let's make him beautiful" Heather C sang, looking over Dipper.

"Let's make him beautiful…" The girls echoed twice, Heather tossing Heather her brush as the girls swamped him.

"Make him beautiful… Okay?" Heather asked, pursing her lips.

"O-Okay!" He spluttered out.

/0\

"Out of my way, geek!" Robbie shouted, shoving a teenage boy against a table.

"I don't want trouble—" He spluttered out. Gideon ran forward, pinning the geek against the table.

"You're gonna die at 3pm!" He shouted, cracking his knuckles.

"Don't you dare touch me! Get away, pervert!" Two girls screamed as a boy came close to them before fleeing.

"What did I ever do to them?" He asked no one as he watched the girls flee.

"Who could survive this? I can't escape this! I think I'm dying!" Everyone screamed at each other.

"Who's that with Heather?" Someone asks, pointing towards the Heathers as they enter.

"Whoa" They all say, watching as the girls enter, someone following behind them.

"Heather, Heather, Heather…" A crowd formed, clustered around the Heathers.

"And someone!" A girl shouts, standing with the rest of the crowd.

"Heather, Heather, Heather…" Mabel moves through the crowd, her view blocked until she saw who's with the Heathers.

"DIPPER?!" She screamed, dropping her book onto the ground in surprise.

"Dipper? Dipper? Dipper!" The other echo, the crowd parting to show Dipper in a different outfit. He's no longer wearing his hat, instead, his signature logo is dangling from a necklace and he's wearing something that matches with the rest of the Heathers.

"And you know, you know, you know, Life can be beautiful, You hope, you dream, you pray. And you get your way! Ask me how it feels. Lookin' like hell on wheels… " He jumped on a table, raising his hand in celebration. "My God, it's beautiful! I might be beautiful… And when you're beautiful… It's a beautiful frickin' day!"


End file.
